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Good morning. Please stand for the reading of God's Word. I'll be reading from Leviticus chapter 16. Be looking at the law of atonement specifically with the two goats. The two goats. So Leviticus sixteen, beginning in verse five. He shall take from the congregation of the sons of Israel two male goats for a sin offering and one ram for a burnt offering.

Then Aaron shall offer the bull for the sin offering which is for himself, that he may make atonement for himself and for his household. He shall take the two goats and present them before the Lord at the doorway of the tent of meeting. Aaron shall cast lots for the two goats, one lot for the Lord and the other lot for the scapegoat.

Then Aaron shall offer the goat on which the lot for the Lord fell and make it a sin offering. But the goat on which the lot for the scapegoat fell shall be presented alive before the Lord to make atonement upon it, to send it into the wilderness as the scapegoat.

Dropping down to verse 15. Then he shall slaughter the goat of the sin offering, which is for the people, and bring its blood inside the veil, and do with its blood as he did with the blood of the bull. And sprinkle it on the mercy seat and in front of the mercy seat.

He shall make atonement for the holy place because of the impurities of the sons of Israel and because of their transgressions in regard to all of their sins. And thus he shall do for the tent of meetings, which abides with them in the midst of their impurities. When he goes in to make atonement in the holy place, no one shall be in the tent of meeting until he comes out, that he may make atonement for himself and for his household and for all the assembly of Israel.

Then he shall go out to the altar that is before the Lord and make atonement for it, and shall take some of the blood of the bull and of the blood of the goat and put it on the horns of the altar on all sides. With his finger he shall sprinkle some of the blood on it seven times and cleanse it, and from the impurities of the sons of Israel consecrate it.

When he finishes atoning for the holy place and the tent of meeting and the altar, he shall offer the live goat. Then Aaron shall lay both of his hands on the head of the live goat and confess over it all the iniquities of the sons of Israel and all their transgressions in regard to all their sins, and he shall lay them on the head of the goat and send it away into the wilderness by the hand of the man who stands in readiness.

The goat shall bear on itself all the Their iniquities to a solidary land, and he shall release the goat into the wilderness. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we thank you that in your wisdom you made a way to send away our iniquities and our transgressions and our sins without sending us away.

Father, that is according to your plan and according to your wisdom and according to your mercy. So it's knowing that, Father, that we can come today, those who have sinned, guilty of sin, even sin perhaps this last week and even today, this morning, Father, in ways that we are ashamed.

And yet, Father, we can come before you, confessing our sins, knowing that you have made a way to remove our sins in the shed blood of Jesus Christ, perfect sacrifice. So, Father, because of that, we can gather here today as a holy people, a holy people expressing our gratitude for your goodness, your kindness, your loving kindness, and your mercy upon our lives.

And that we can gather here today to worship you and be expectant before you. Be expectant of your spiritual renewal and ministry in our lives that we might present to you hearts of wisdom and lives of fruitfulness that please you. So, Father, it's in the name of your Lord.

Son, who is both the sacrifice and the one who carried our sins away. Father, we come before you and rejoice, for it's in His name we pray. Amen. Well, once again, good morning and howdy. Please turn in your Bibles to Mark chapter 10. Be looking at verses 1 through 12 today.

Mark chapter 10, verses 1 through 12. Now, today is really an epic milestone in our family's history. As many of you know, our oldest son got married this last Friday. Answer to prayer. Blessing. And not only that, that yesterday one of our daughters, Heather, left home. So now she is out on her education responsibility, or actually leaving home for the first time.

So that's another milestone. And so, and today commemorates the very first day that we woke up with only as a single parent. No, no, as a single child family. Nothing happened to Nancy. Woke up this morning with one child in our home. So it's a little different. But I want to talk to you today since May.

Marriage is on the mind and all the family involves. I want to talk to you about marriage and really divorce and marriage because they come to us in the same context. But one of the most important things about you is the way you honor the marriage covenant. You say, well, maybe you're not married.

No, this applies to you. One of the most important things about you is how you honor the marriage covenant. Whether you're married or not married is irrelevant to what I'm saying. How you honor the marriage covenant is very important. And there's no one that God expects to honor the covenant of marriage more than his people.

Let me go ahead and read to you Mark chapter 10, verses 1 through 12. Getting up, he went from there to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan. Crowds gathered around him again, and according to his custom, he once more began to teach them. Some Pharisees came up to Jesus, testing him, and began to question him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife.

And he answered and said to them, What did Moses command you? They said, Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away. But Jesus said to them, Because of your hardness of heart, he wrote. This commandment. But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female.

For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. In the house, the disciples began questioning him about this again. And he said to them, Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.

And if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery. So this passage involves one of the most controversial issues of Jesus' time, but also of our time as well, and that of marriage. It's not shocking to look around and notice that the deterioration of the marriage covenant has been going on for quite some time in our country.

A fairly recent study indicates that no less than 40% and maybe even up to 60% of new marriages will eventually end in divorce. Now, recently, there's been a drop in that. Good news. Last few years, divorce statistic is going down. But then when you compare it, you realize the rate of marriage is also going down.

People see no reason. To get married, and so marriage both are expressed, the divorce rate and the lack of new marriages is an indication that the marriage covenant is in decline. But in this passage that we're looking at, Jesus clarifies for all time God's intention for marriage. And one of the clearest statements of the biblical definition of marriage is given to us in verses 6 and 7.

But the driving issue in this passage is not marriage, it's divorce. But the reality is, you cannot talk about divorce without talking about marriage. And so, what Christ is setting before his disciples and us today is how we are to approach marriage. In fact, let me just take it even further.

How we are to not be minded in our marriages. He is very much against a divorce-minded mentality. He does not want his people to be divorce-minded at all. And this is radical. This is radical in Jesus' time, and it's Really radical in our time. Remember, in chapter 8, verse 29, Peter makes that declaration, you are the Christ.

And Jesus says, yes, you've got it right. Now you need to understand what following the Christ is all about and what that involves. And already, realizing that Christ's kingdom and Christ's ways are radically different than ours. His mission is going to be accomplished through rejection and suffering. That's very radical.

He tells his disciples: to find your life, you must lose your life. In fact, you must become the least in order to become the greatest. These are counter-intuitive to the kingdom of the world. He goes on to mention to them that you must welcome those who you would naturally reject.

You must love those who hate you. And you must not be divorce-minded. And so I want you to understand what divorce is and why it occurs so that you will not be divorce-minded. And as I've said already, don't check out if you're married. If you're not married, don't check out if you're married either.

I'm on a roll this morning. No telling where this sermon is. Is going to go. But don't check out if you're not married, because this is one of the most important things about you: how you relate to and protect and honor the covenant of marriage. So, I want to do this in several steps.

First of all, I want you to see what divorce is, and I want to talk to you about how, well, to understand what divorce is and why it occurs, so that you will not be divorce-minded. And all this comes out of an unforgiving heart. A divorce-minded person, really at its core, is somebody who doesn't know or will not forgive.

Look at verse 1. Getting up, he went from there to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan. Crowds gathered around him again, and according to his custom, he once more began to teach them. Some Pharisees came up to Jesus, testing him, and began to question him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife.

Two Greek words are used in the New Testament for divorce. And ironically, both of these words are sometimes translated as forgiveness. So, the word for forgiveness, two words used for forgiveness, and two times those same words can be used for divorce. Interesting concept. Same root, same word. First word is in our text this morning.

Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? And it's an active verde. Is it lawful for a person to send his wife away? That's the idea. To send a person away, to release. That's the idea of divorce, to release. In fact, it's in Matthew 18, Jesus uses the word, the same word for divorce, but in the context of forgiving someone's debt.

Remember in Matthew 18, 23, Jesus tells a story. He says, For this reason, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. So when he had begun to settle them, one who owed him 10,000 talents was brought to him.

But since he didn't have the means to repay, his Lord commanded him to be sold along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will repay you everything.

And the Lord of that slave felt compassion and released. Divorced his debt, sent his debt away. He dismissed the debt. And look at what it says. And the Lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt. Two words there, both for the idea of forgiveness.

To send away the debt and to forgive. That brings us to the second word, to send away. So the first is to release, the idea of to release the person from an obligation or to release an obligation and to send away. And both words are used. And the Lord of that slave felt compassion and released him from his debt and forgave him the debt.

Sent the debt away. Released him from the obligation to the debt and sent the debt away. Forgave him. It's the same words. 1 Corinthians 7. The husband should not divorce his wife. He should not send away his wife. I read to you earlier Leviticus 16, speaking about the law of the gate.

Goat. And you have a really good illustration of what sending away sin looks like. Remember Leviticus 16, 20, and when he has made an end of atoning for the holy place, he shall bring the live goat. Remember, there were two goats presented. The first one was for a sin offering, and that blood was used to cleanse the inside of the temple and the mercy seat.

But then this is what happened to the second goat, verse 21, and Aaron shall lay both his hands on the head of the live goat, confess over it all the iniquities of the children of Israel, and all their transgressions concerning all their sins, putting them on the head of the goat, and shall send it away into the wilderness by the hand of a suitable man.

The goat shall bear on itself all their iniquities to an uninhabited land, and he shall release the goat into the wilderness. So the first cleansed, the second goat carried away the sin. That's the difference between God and man. You see, what God does is he sends away our list of wrongs.

But what do we do? A divorced-minded person holds on to him. That's the difference between God and us. God sends away the list of wrongs. He figured out a way to send away the transgressions and that which have Offended him in us, but we have a habit of holding on to them.

God seeks a way to reconcile. Man seeks a way to divorce. I remember a white woman named Karen. That's kind of become sort of an interesting name these days. But there was this woman named Karen, and I knew her, and she was a hard woman. She fit the stereotypes that seemed to be going wrong, which is not charitable at all, by the way.

But she was a hard woman to work with. Little things would set her off. And one time, she was one, it's like if you hurt her or if you crossed her, she would remember it forever. And she said so. One day, someone close to her confronted her and said, You need to let this thing go.

It's in the context of employee relationships. And she was like, I do not ever let things go. It's no wonder she sent her husband away. But that's the idea. And I hope that's not you holding on. But here's so far what we can say about divorce. It's active.

It's active. Divorce is the act of sending someone away. It's not being left. That's passive. That's being abandoned. Divorce is not a noun, it's a verb. You don't go and get a divorce. You are either sent away or you are sending away. But it's not a noun. Divorce, second thing we can say about divorce, it's a releasing.

It's first of all a releasing of one's self of an obligation or a duty. And in the context here, got a bunch of Jewish rabbis asking, okay, is it lawful to send someone away and release yourself of that debt to love, to take care of? Third, say about divorce so far is it's self-centered.

It's not concerned about the well-being of the one being sent away, but the well-being of self and self-desire. Divorce-mindedness. So that's what divorce is. What is divorce-mindedness? Well, it comes out of the mindset that is quick to write a person off. You offend me? Fine, I'm not talking to you anymore.

That's a divorce-minded person. I'm done with you. Is that you? Divorce-mindedness is quick to release oneself of the obligation to love somebody else. God commands that we love one another, even as Christ loved us. But a divorce-minded person, even in light of all that teaching, is quick to just release oneself.

I'm not under that obligation because that person has offended me. Divorce-mindedness is quick to focus on self, quick to focus on self-hurt, quick to focus on protecting self rather than the well-being of others. So, divorce-minded, it really stems out of a heart that does not let things go or will not forgive.

Second, I want to show you why divorce occurs. Our passage shows us why divorce occurs. The answer is given in verse 5. If you look there, but Jesus said, Because of your hardness of heart, he wrote you this commandment. Your hardness of heart. That's the problem. And this hardness of heart is embodied in the Pharisees that he is dealing with.

You know, already it's evident that their hardness of heart is evident because of the way they approached Jesus. Look at verse 2. Some Pharisees came up to Jesus testing him. They wanted to catch him and began to question him. You see, the reason that they approached Jesus to get his insights on marriage and really divorce had nothing to do with an honest desire to become better husbands or to promote better marriages in Israel.

It was really to catch him, to test him. They wanted to examine him, they wanted to find fault with him, and so they threw him one of the most controversial issues of their day, and that is divorce and remarriage. They thought in such a way, as he debates with it, that he, in some way, is going to get crossways with one of the different schools of thought within Judaism at the time.

And there were several schools of thought worth mentioning. There was the Shammai school of thought, rabbinic thought, that would teach that only on the basis of adultery is one to send their wife away. Then there was another school of thought, the Ben-Sirah, and this allowed divorce on the basis of a lack of submission.

So if your wife isn't submitting to you, then you send her away. And then there was the Hillel school of thought, which we have a Hillel school. Foundation here close by. And this was for anything, really, even a spoiled meal. If your wife ruined dinner, you could send her away.

That was the most extreme, or the liberal of the day. And so they asked the question: Tell us, Jesus, what's your you weigh in on the matter. By the way, Josephus, let me just read to you an excerpt from Josephus. He seems to have been of this Hillel, the more extreme.

He talks about how he divorced my wife. He says, There was a time when I divorced my wife because I was not pleased with her behavior, though I did not divorce her until she had been the mother of three children. After this, I married a woman of eminent parents and the most illustrious in all the country, and whose character was beyond that of most other women.

By her, I had two sons. The elder's name was Justice, the other one Simides. And then he goes on later to recognize that this divorce was one way. In other words, he cites another case where Salome happened to quarrel with Costabaris, her husband, and she sent him a bill of divorce.

And dissolved her marriage with him, though this was not according to the Jewish laws, for with us it is lawful only for a husband to do so. So in the Jewish school of thought, only the man could send away the wife. And Matthew 19:3, parallel here, some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing him and asking him, Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?

That's the question. For any reason at all? Where do you, how? So they're taking that Hillel extreme liberal position and ask him, so is it lawful to divorce your wife for any reason at all? Very popular, very subtle position, very authoritative in popular the day. So their approach to Jesus reveals their hardness of heart.

But look at their response. Look at Jesus' response. Verse 3, and he answered and said to them, What did Moses command you? They said, Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away. Way. That's their response to what Jesus said. Their response reveals a hardness of heart.

Jesus is, think about what Jesus is saying. His question is very simple. What did Moses order you to do? What did Moses command you to do? What did he ordain? Very simple. But their response involves a different verb. Notice they said Moses permitted. Wait, no, Jesus said, what did Moses command you?

Well, Jesus allowed for, or Moses allowed for. He permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away. You see, they are dealing with permission, not necessarily command. Jesus asked a question dealing with commands, but they answered in terms of permission. You see, they were not interested in God's ideal, but justifying perversions of God's ideal.

And so they sought out a text that would help them justify their own perverse standards of God's ordeal, ordained idea. And the text involved is Deuteronomy 21, or 24, 1 through 4. 24, 1 through 4. I'll read you a little bit of it. When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in here, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house, and she leaves his house and goes before and becomes another man's wife.

And if the latter husband turns against her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, if the latter husband dies who took her former wife, then her former husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife.

So there's a regulation of, okay, if divorce is happening, how do you regulate this? But that's the text that they're using to justify divorce for any reason at all. It's a very poor basis for a number of reasons. First of all, they chose a text that just regulates divorce.

But the text doesn't command divorce. Second, what they fail to recognize is that in a fallen world, divorce is going to happen. They fail to understand the purpose of the law here. The purpose of the law was to limit the damage of divorce, not command it. This was not a good passage to teach about God's ideal for marriage.

Think about this. It wasn't too long ago. You remember we had a big oil spill in the Gulf. You remember that? British Petroleum, Gulf of Mexico. Four million barrels of oil pumped, put, spilled into the Gulf. So think about when that happens, there's all kinds of environmental cleanup laws.

They were had to, because of the Clean Water Act penalty, they were charged $5.5 billion. Then they had to put another $8.8 billion into natural resource damage and their laws. Even as you drive in, you may see some oil fields, you may see some oil tanks, and you may see a big gravel berm around it.

Have you seen that, where the tanks sit? Why is that? So if it spills, what happens? It's contained. Just because there's laws like that on the books doesn't mean that the government allows oil spills. Just because there's cleanup laws or containment laws doesn't mean that the government is saying, yeah, go out and pour oil.

All over the Gulf of Mexico. No, those are there are laws in place to respond to the mess, to assess the damage, and to restore it. And those laws don't suggest that the government is permitting oil spills. Well, that's how they were thinking about marriage and divorce. God has, because Moses allowed divorce, doesn't mean, or he, because he wrote the certificate of divorce, doesn't mean that that's what God wants or that God is commanding.

It's to limit the mess caused by divorce. I mean, if the only way out for a husband out of a marriage was through death, guess what might be happening? Lots of death. No. But here's the point. Their response reveals their hardness of heart. And their hardness of heart is seen in two different questions.

Two very different questions. And we've got to think about us. What questions do we primarily ask? Do we ask ourselves, what is God's ideal? What does He want? Or do we ask ourselves the question, what can I get away with? Those are two very different. Different questions, and that's what is God's ideal, and how do I find myself in God's ideal standard, or do I go and find the way that I can get away with?

What can I get away with? Two very different questions, but it's evidence of a hard heart. If you spend your thought energy trying to answer the question, what does God really want? How do I come under it? That shows a teachable heart. If you spend your time thinking, what can I get away with?

then you have a hard heart, a heart that's impervious to God's truth. But going on, notice in verse 5 that Jesus' rebuke of them reveals their hardness of heart. These are hard-hearted people. And he explicitly says so, verse 5: But Jesus said to them, Because of your hardness of heart, he wrote you this commandment.

His statement corrects their misguided use of Scripture. And that's what we do: use scripture to kind of justify our own purpose. But the reason that Moses gave this commandment that they're citing and hanging their argument upon had nothing to do with God's ideal for marriage. As I said, It's to contain the devastating effects of divorce.

But it's like Jesus says something like this: He goes, Let me tell you why Moses wrote this provision. He wrote this provision because of your hardness of heart. That's why it's in there. Hardness speaks to the imperviousness of God's influence in a person's life. Are you impervious to the influence of God?

These men were impervious, they didn't really want to understand God's ideal. It's the same word for stiff-necked, obstinate, an untractable spirit that is not responsible or not responsive to the guiding of God. That's what hardness of heart, not really being, oh, they looked like it on the outside.

It could convince a lot of people otherwise, but not Jesus. They didn't want to understand Moses' true position, and Jesus calls them out on that. He says, You are impervious to the influence of God. And your study of Scripture, or their study of scripture, was only to find a basis to justify.

Their sinful desires. That was what was going on then. That's what goes on now. Nothing's changed. So, divorce, it's active, it's the act of leaving, abandoning, or sending someone away. Divorce is a releasing. It's a releasing of oneself of an obligation or a duty. Divorce is self-centered. It is not concerned for the well-being of the other.

And we can add to that that divorce comes out of a heart that is hardened against God. And you know why divorce happens? It's because people do not know how to forgive. Or they simply will not forgive. And you know why they don't forgive? It's because they do not know God.

So that's what divorce is. That's why divorce occurs. Next, I want you to see a couple of reasons why Christ's followers are not to be divorce-minded. Why Christ's followers are not to be divorce-minded. Look back at verse 6. First of all, because of what marriage is. Verse 6.

6. But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.

There's the ideal standard. Errant theology almost always focuses on the wrong passage. Good theology focuses on the right passages. And this is what Jesus does. He takes the Pharisees and takes them to another, a more appropriate passage that deals with marriage. Pharisees built their whole case on a concession to human failure.

Jesus builds his case upon a pre-fall condition before sin comes into the world. He goes back to the way it was supposed to be. Verse 6, but from the beginning of creation. Jesus doesn't want his disciples, any of them, to misunderstand God's intention for marriage. And so he takes them back to the beginning.

I remember growing up in the mountains where we'd get a fresh snowfall throughout the year and throughout the winter. And just after that beautiful snowfall that Next morning, the sun comes up and it's just pure white and beautiful across. And then we let the dogs out, go into the backyard, and it changes the scenery pretty quickly.

Well, that's where Jesus takes us when He takes us back to what God's intention for marriage was before it was all befouled up by fallen man. And the opening chapters of Genesis make it clear that it was God who established marriage. It's God who says it's not good for man to be alone.

It's God who said, I will make a helper suitable for him. It was God who brought Eve to Adam to be his wife. And so the whole thing is God's doing. It's an honorable estate because marriage comes from the mind of God. And we do well to understand it.

But it's important to see who is the authority to speak on marriage. There's some that say government is the authority to define what marriage is. No, marriage predates the government. Some say it's the church that is the authority over what marriage is. No, marriage predates the church. In fact, marriage predates all of us.

So none of these can define marriage because it was already defined. Only the Lord of the marriage can speak to its marriage. The Lord Himself is the authority over the marriage, and here he is. Mark has held out who Jesus is. He is God in the flesh. He is Lord over all the institutions of man and the institutions of God, including marriage.

He is the authority to speak on marriage. And so there are four significant characteristics of marriage that Jesus brings to the forefront of our thinking here. Notice: the first is that's a union between male and female. God made them male and female. This statement addresses the gender issue.

Humanity, two distinct genders, male and female. All other gender distinctions are not from God. Homosexual unions are not from God, male and female. Second thing, look at verse 7. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother. The marriage union is stronger than the parent-child bond.

And this is significant because you remember one of the Ten Commandments, Exodus 20, 12, is to honor one's parents. And here it's clear that This union, the marriage union, is stronger. The obligation to spouse is stronger than one's duty to their parents. That makes it the second most highest obligation, save to the Lord himself.

Third, it's a union between two people, two and only two. Look back, verse eight, and the two shall become one flesh, so they are no longer two, but one flesh. This forbids polygamy. But the language is strong, no longer one flesh, never again one flesh. Oneness physically, oneness spiritually.

Marriage is a oneness out of two, a new creation. Two singles, the end of two singles, and the beginning of one new entity, yet with two distinctions, but one entity. But the fourth characteristic of marriage that Jesus puts forth, look at verse 9. What therefore God is joined together, let no man separate.

It is for all time. It is for all. For all times. It's a union between male and female. It is a union that is stronger than the parent-child bond. It is a union between two and only two people. It is a union for all time. Let no man separate.

What God has joined together, it's a bond. It's what He is yoked together. No one is to break that yoke, a yoke of two united together like two oxen yoked together with the responsibility. So it's a bond for life. It's a yoke. The husband and wife are to pull together.

They are to pray together. They are to play together, think together, reflect together. They are to share pain together. They are to rule together. They are to experience joy together. And they live the life together, whatever God may have in store for them. Let no man separate. That's the only command given in this passage.

Don't you dare separate. That's the force of Jesus' words. God yoked them together, and therefore it is not for any man to unyoke them or your Jewish tradition to unyoke them. Well, that's all the crowd heard. So, the first reason that Christ's followers are not to be divorced-minded is because of what marriage is.

But the second reason is because of what adultery is. What adultery is. So, this is all that the crowd hears. And notice what happens at verse 10. In the house, the disciples began questioning him about this again. And he said to them, Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.

And if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery. It goes both ways. Whoever sends his wife away is in the active state of sending his wife away and marries active again. It's the word we get gametes from. For your biologists, you understand that that's a term relating to sexual involvement.

So, whoever sends his wife away and marries her into a union with another commits, passively, is in the act of committing adultery. And it goes both ways. If she herself Actively sends her husband away and actively marries another man, she herself is also caught up in the sin of adultery.

What is adultery? Well, in the Old Testament sense, it's any sexual relationship between a married woman and a man other than her husband. Also goes both ways. It also included all sexual relationships involving a married man and another man's wife or fiancé. But it's Jesus who brings the clarity to it.

In Matthew 5, 27, he says, You have heard that it was said, You shall not commit adultery, but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So, what adultery is at its very basic level, it is a breach of this one-flesh relationship that God has ordained, the oneness.

C.S. Lewitt says it like this: The monstrosity of sexual intercourse outside marriage is that those who indulge in it are trying to isolate one kind of union, the sexual, from all other kinds of union which were intended to go along with it and make up the total union.

So, it's a breach of this. One-flesh relationship. And Jesus' position was very unpopular. Still is. And what Jesus was saying to these Pharisees that day is: the whole system of divorce and remarriage that you have instituted in this society is nothing short of adultery. Your norm is adultery.

Let me ask you something. Suppose somebody went and stole a whole bunch of money and they amassed all this money by stealing, and then they ask you, Will you help me invest this and pray that God will bless my investment? What would you say to them? What's wrong with you?

How can you steal and expect God to bless? So many approach marriage this way. They send their spouse away in view of another, and then they pray for God's blessing, and they wonder why things break down again and again. You see, the divorce, the Jewish divorce policy of the day had made man the Lord of the marriage.

But who is the Lord of the marriage? God is. But God is joined together. Let no man separate. Not man, not the government, not the church, but Jesus Himself is Lord of the marriage. And of all the people in the world that Jesus wants to honor the covenant of marriage, it is his followers.

Listen, we are not to be a divorce-minded people. On the contrary, we are to learn how to be reconciliation-minded. You need a forgiveness plan because as you go through life, and I don't care if you're married or not married, you are going to be offended by somebody. Somebody is going to harm you in some way, and you're going to have to learn how to forgive.

And if you don't, I can assure you, you're going to go down a trail of divorce-mindedness. Whether you ever get married or not, you will be characterized by broken relationships. Off my list. Off my list. You move on. But this is the most important skill you need to learn in life.

You need to learn how to reconcile. In fact, tonight I invite you back because you need to not only have a repentance plan. Remember, we talked about that. You need to have a forgiveness plan. And so tonight we're going to talk about the mechanics of a forgiveness plan.

Because inevitably, you're going to be called upon to forgive, and you're going to want to do it well if you are a follower of Christ. But listen, I say this to you who are not married, want to be married. If you do not learn reconciliation-mindedness before you are married, it's not going to magically appear the day you get married.

If you are divorce-minded now, you will be then, unless you learn to let God be the Lord of your life and walk in his way. And the reason he wants his disciples honoring the covenant of marriage is because fundamentally it is a reflection of a reconciliation-minded individual, our Heavenly Father.

And that's what displays his glory. You see, followers of Christ are to perform our marital obligations and to esteem the covenant of marriage first and foremost for Christ's sake. And the solution for a divorce-minded mindset is really a softened heart to God. And listen, everybody in here, honor God's design for marriage in all seasons of your life.

There'll be time when you're not married. For some of us, there's a time when we are married. And then there's a time when things change and we're not married through a variety of reasons. But honor the union throughout your life. Governments need to honor the union. To the degree you honor this covenant is the degree to which God blesses.

Now, I'm going to say this, we're out of time. But I want to make it clear that Jesus is not trying to heap a bunch of guilt upon those who have failed in this area. Even those who have been wrongfully sent out, there's the victim. And then there are those who wrongfully send people out.

He's not trying to heap a bunch of guilt upon those who have failed. He is raising the true standard. In fact, in Mark 3:23, he says this: Truly I say to you, all sins shall be forgiven the sons of men. And that would include relational disasters. There is no instance in Scripture where an individual who seeks forgiveness is denied.

And you know, I've observed two kinds of divorced people in my life. There are those who have truly repented, and gospel fruitfulness is granted to them. In fact, I would venture to say some of the most fruitful people that I have ministered with and seen in ministry are people who have experienced the pain and sorrow of divorce.

But then I have seen another category of divorced people. They are ones who have never really truly repented of the relational catastrophe. They go through life blaming, excusing, showing absolutely no care or interest in understanding what they did to contribute or any desire to turn away from it.

And so they carry their divorce-minded dysfunction with them into their next relationship and whatever kind of relationships that may look like. But what Jesus is calling us to, he's calling his people to. Kingdom living, to be reconciliation-minded. And this standard was so radical in Jesus' day that in Matthew 19:10, his disciples say, if this is the relationship, it's better not to marry.

But it is better to be married Christ, if God so has it. But here's the good news: Marriage is the emblem of Christ and His church. God wants there to be reconciliated-mindedness in the covenant of marriage because He wants reconciliation-mindedness in all our relationships, because that's what brings Him glory.

Because that is who He is. And you are never more like God than when you are pursuing reconciliation with others, because that's what He did and does. And thank the Lord that this is what He does. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we bow our hearts, recognizing that we are so dependent upon.

You being a reconciliation-minded God. Father, it is not in you just to blast people off into space for the littlest offense, though you would be right to do so because you're holy. Yet we see in you, pages of Scripture, your mercy. And in your wisdom, you have figured out a way to send away our offenses, to bear the pain yourself, to send away our offenses.

So, Father, help us to truly understand you. Help us to truly experience that forgiveness of sin that comes only from you. Father, and if there are those here today who are heavy with their sin and the burden is great upon their back, I pray now that even as I'm praying, that they would confess their sins to you and ask for forgiveness and really know that that's where you want them to be, is asking for your mercy because in a moment, in a heartbeat, you grant it.

So, Father, we thank you for your mercy and help us to leave here, having experienced your mercy. Help us leave here demonstrating that mercy. Help us to not be divorce-minded in any of our relationships, but to be reconciliation-minded. In them all, for your glory and great name. Amen.