Marriage & Singleness (Pt. 2)

0:58She coined the term bridezilla, which now is a colloquial term that everyone is familiar with. About 2004, they started a show called Bridezillas, which focused on these ladies during the period of their engagement and some of the crazy things that they would say and do. It's actually been running for 12 years, believe it or not, not consecutively, but 12 years total, featuring these ladies and kind of what they've done. And some of those things include requiring bridesmaids to buy dresses that cost thousands of dollars that they will. Exactly once. Paying for plane tickets to go to exotic locations out of their own pockets.

1:39Learning a choreographed dance that will be filmed and then placed on social media. And yes, even forbidding people in the wedding party to wear their glasses because they would not look good in pictures. These bridezillas act the way that they do. And I will say this: I've done many weddings. There are some groomzillas too. Just so we know, this is not just about the ladies. Bridezilla or groomzilla, these are people that have said, this is all about me.

2:11I want the focus, the attention to be about me. I want everyone's undivided devotion during this season of my life. And in our sermon text today, Paul is addressing this period of time that we would call engagement. It was known in these ancient centuries as the period of betrothal. He's addressing this, and he's going to give some counsel to people who are engaged because that's the one type of relationship that he's not yet addressed in 1 Corinthians 7.

2:40But I want you to know that this passage is not primarily about engagement. It's really about focus. It's really about attention. It's really about where our devotion is. And so what we're going to see today in this passage is that the world is. Passing away. And so the Lord deserves our undivided devotion. So let's pick up here in verse 25. You'll notice that right away he uses that same phrase, now concerning, that he began last passage with. Now concerning, he is addressing the Corinthians and their concerns that they wrote to him in the letter. And so he's changing the subject to a different subject. He says, now concerning. They've already asked about single people. and widows. They've already asked about those who are married to other believers. They've already asked about believers who are married to non-Christians. And they've asked Paul, what should we do as Christians in these various scenarios? And that's what the rest of this chapter is about. So now he turns his attention, they turn their attention to this interesting group of people, the engaged, the betrothed, the people who are not exactly single, but also not yet married. And if you find yourself in that place, how should you live as a believer, as a follower of Jesus?

4:04Well, as before, Paul is clear that he has no command from the Lord. That's what he says here at the outset. Jesus did not explicitly teach on this subject, and so Paul is going to give his judgment, he says, as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. So what is his judgment? Look at verse 26. I think that in view of the present distress, It is good for a person to remain as he is. And so, what he means by that is that, in his judgment, his opinion, it's best if engaged couples don't get married right now.

4:46He says, if you're bound to a wife, and the way that those words are being used, bound and wife, would have been the ways that they would have understood them in the first century. Remember that in the first century, an engagement was not just a verbal agreement like we have today. Betrothal or engagement in the first century was a legally binding agreement. The only way to get out of an engagement or a betrothal in the first century was to go through with divorce.

5:12And so, Paul is saying, Look, if you're bound to a wife, if you're promised to be married, if you are engaged, then he says, Don't seek to be free from your engagement. And he says, if you're free from a wife, that is, if you're not betrothed, if you're not engaged yet, don't seek to get engaged. Well, why not? Look at the first part of verse 26 again. He says, I think that in view of the present distress, it is good for a person to remain as he is.

5:45So, what does Paul mean by that? This phrase, the present distress, could also be translated impending pressure. And at this point in Christian history, there was a lot of impending pressure. There was a lot of distress that was covered. Upon the followers of Jesus. Now, obviously, we know from the book of Acts that since the resurrection, Jewish people had been putting tons of pressure on Christians. They've been persecuting them, imprisoning them. The Apostle Paul and his testimony was a great example of this, right? They're throwing believers into prison, they're having believers killed. But increasingly, over the last couple of decades, since Jesus' resurrection, the Roman government has ramped up their official persecution.

6:28And it was really because the Christian life and beliefs were so different. See, the Romans didn't understand Christians because Christians worshiped just one God. And the one God that they worshiped was invisible. They didn't have any idols. They didn't have any statues. And so it was common for the Romans to refer to them as atheists because they couldn't see their gods. They couldn't see the entities that they worshipped. The Christians in their moral lifestyle, their value system, was almost completely at odds with the average Roman citizen.

7:01They didn't like that. They didn't understand why they didn't participate in the same kinds of things that they did. And then perhaps worst of all in their minds, Christians refused to worship Caesar as God. And so they accused them of committing treason as well. And so the Jews were busy insisting that the Christians were different from them. The Roman government didn't see them really as any different. And the Jews had caused the Roman government problems for hundreds of years. Of years. There had been conflict, there had been battles. The temple was actually destroyed by the Romans in the second century BC over the conflict that was raging. And so they just kind of lumped them all together and they wanted them gone.

7:43To make matters worse, the Emperor Nero was going crazy. He was getting more and more insane as he continued his time in his role as emperor and he began to see Christians as a real threat to his empire. So he began to imprison them, he began to kill them, he began to light them on fire and use them as torches to light the city at night. Beyond all of that stuff, there were different political pressures that created famine conditions, one of which hit Corinth really hard. There were earthquakes going on at this time.

8:16And then within just a few years of this letter being written, about 15 years later, the Roman army would enter Jerusalem again, destroy the city, and destroy the temple for a final time. And so, in light of all that historical background, I want to take you back to Jesus and what he said during his ministry in Matthew chapter 24. Take a look at the screen. Jesus left the temple and was going away when his disciples came to point out to him the buildings of the temple.

8:48But he answered them, You see all these, do you not? Truly I say to you, there will not be left here one stone upon another that will not be thrown down. As he sat on the Mount of Olive, The disciples came to him privately, saying, Tell us, when will these things be, and what will be the sign of your coming and the end of the age? And Jesus answered them, See that no one leads you astray. For many will come in my name, saying, I am the Christ, and they will lead many astray.

9:19And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are but the beginning of the birth pains. Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and put you to death, and you will be hated by all nations for my name's sake.

9:43And then many will fall away and betray one another and hate one another. And many false prophets will arise and lead many astray. And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end will be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations. And then the end will come. So the Corinthians asked Paul, what should we do if we're engaged?

10:21And Paul looks around, and he sees the persecution, and he feels the earthquakes, and he experiences the effects of the famine in this part of the world and he tells them I think in view of the present distress that it will be good for you to remain as you are because he believed that Jesus may be returning at any moment I mean the things happening all around Paul were just like the things that Jesus described weren't they Now he reiterates in verse 28, look, it's not a sin to marry, and so if you decide to marry, that's fine. You can honor the Lord in that way. But if you make that decision, you're going to have worldly troubles, the normal stuff that accompanies marriage, and then all of the stuff that you're going to experience with these challenges now. And Paul wants to spare them those things during this uncertain time.

11:21Paul took Jesus' teaching seriously. And when he saw all of these signs that Jesus described taking place around him, he said, look, Jesus may be coming back any moment. Now understand, Paul is no false prophet. He never said Jesus is definitely coming back during our lifetime. He never said that. And in fact, if he even believed that, then most of his letters would make no sense. Why would you write and instruct Christians about matters of everyday life if you believe deep down that none of it was going to matter because Jesus was coming back for sure? In your lifetime. That would make no sense. But he wants them to understand that in light of everything going on around them, Jesus could obviously come back at any moment. And so here is his counsel. Look at verse 29.

12:19This is what I mean, brothers. The appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.

12:51Paul's reasoning is simple and logical. He says, if all of this is going on right now, then Jesus could be coming back at any moment. And if Jesus is coming back at any moment, then the present form of this world is passing away. So it only makes sense to live our lives in light of the truth that this world is not going to last forever in its present form. See, whether you consider yourself a Christian or not, if you are living your life as though this world in its present form, Present form is just going to continue, just keep trucking along like it always has, then Paul's counsel is going to seem foolish, if not insane to you.

13:43But if you believe what Jesus said, that He is actually coming back and coming back to make all things new, then you really can live and must live in the way that He describes here. You can live your life free from idolizing marriage. You can live your life free from bitterness when sad things happen to you. You can live your life free from this futile and unending pursuit of finding happiness that will never go away. You can live free from working to accumulate more and more possessions in the vain hope that they will make you happy.

14:30See, because this present world is passing away, what that means is that marriage is temporary. Sadness is temporary. Happiness is temporary. Stuff is temporary. None of it will last. And yet, so many people in our world, including many professing believers, are living their lives and building their lives around that which is temporary. Whether it's the marriage that they want or the marriage. That they have, whether it's the anger and sadness that they feel because something bad happened to them, whether it's the pursuit of happiness that will never go away through acquiring things or experiences, so many people and so many professing believers are building their lives around that.

15:21Look at what Tom Schreiner had to say. Paul is not world-denying as if using the things of this world is frowned upon. What concerns Paul is if the things of this world cause one to forget the world to come. For every present reality is a shadow compared with the substance to come. Friends, forgetting the world to come is one of our primary struggles as believers. We begin to live as though this world is our home. We begin to live as though Jesus is not coming back. We begin to live as though every one of us, believer and non-believer, aren't going to stand before the judgment seat of God.

16:17But friends, Jesus is coming back. This world is passing away. All of us are going to stand before the judgment seat of God. And so Paul's counsel is grounded in the reality of those two. Truths. He says the present form of this world will pass away. And so I want you to see this not just in light of engagement, not just in light of whether you should get married, but in light of any decision that you could make or you will be making. That you make that decision in light of the truth that this world in its present form is passing away.

16:58Now, in verse 32, he returns to the question of what engaged Christians should do. And he goes into greater detail about his logic. And his logic is really simple in this verse. In verse 32, he says, I want you to be free from anxieties. Why? Well, because the unmarried man and the unmarried woman can devote their full attention to the Lord. But the married man and the married woman can't. By definition, you can't. Your interests are divided. Now, that's not to say that every single person is wholeheartedly committed to the Lord. It's just to say that they can be. But the married person can't be because you have to divide your interests between the Lord and your spouse. He says, I don't want you to have those kinds of anxieties. And when he uses that word anxiety, he's speaking positively about the normal and good things that we should do to love and serve and care for our spouse. But he's also referring to the negative side of those anxieties, those worries that inevitably crop up. When you are engaged, when you're married to someone else, because you're concerned about their welfare. And think about the present situation. They're hard pressed from every side. Jews are persecuting them. The Roman government is persecuting them. It is more and more likely that they're going to end up in prison, that they could be tortured, that they could be killed for their faith. And Paul is simply saying, Look, I want to spare you those anxieties that are going to come from being married at a period of time like this.

18:34He says in verse 35, I'm not trying to lay any additional restraints on you. If you want to get married, you can and you can honor the Lord, but he is trying to promote good order. And look at this phrase, verse 35, to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. Friends, that is Paul's main concern. His main concern is not whether you stay single or get married. His main concern, going back to last week, is not whether you take this job or that job, whether you pursue this career or that career. That's not his main concern. His main concern is securing your undivided devotion to the Lord because Jesus is worthy of that.

19:20Since Jesus will return and the present form of this world is passing away, we have to put our relationships and our sorrows and our joys and our Are seeking after acquiring possessions, we have to put all of that on the table and view it through the lens of the fact that Jesus is coming back and this present world is passing away. It all has to be viewed through that lens. Look again at what Jesus says in Matthew 24.

19:53Therefore, stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. But know this, that if the master of the house had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into. Therefore, you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect. Isn't that amazing? He's talking to his disciples. He's talking to people who knew the word, guys.

20:24Even we today who know the word, who know the signs of Christ's coming, he says to us, I am coming back at a time that you do not expect. That is a sobering statement. And when Jesus returns, every one of us wants to be found faithful. We want to be found giving our undivided devotion to the Lord. And that's Paul's point. The point of this passage, the point of the chapter, isn't really about marriage and singleness so much. It's about our undivided devotion being given. To the Lord. Jesus is worthy of that.

21:05And so, friends, you might be more distracted as a single person than you would be if you got married. You might be more distracted as a married person than if you stayed single. You might be more distracted in this job or that job in this career or that career. And the question is: are we giving our undivided devotion to the Lord? Whatever we're doing, whatever we perceive our calling to be, are you giving your undivided devotion to the Lord? That is a question that only you can answer. I can't answer that for you. No one can answer that for you. Only you can. And so I want to urge you to consider Paul's counsel here. I want to encourage you to pray. I want to encourage you to seek out wise, older, more mature believers in the church and ask them this question: Am I giving my undivided devotion to the Lord? Do you have reason to believe that I am? Or do you see that my interests are divided in any way?

22:04Open yourself up to that for the Lord and for others in the church to help you process and consider. But only you can answer that question. But as you see, Paul still hasn't directly answered their question, has he? They still don't know what to do if they're engaged. And so in verses 36 through 40, he gives them some direct advice, some direct counsel. And he's going to start off with three reasons to get married. In other words, if you meet these criteria, you should get married. Here's his first one, verse 36. If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed.

22:46So the first reason you should get married is if your conscience won't allow you to break your engagement. If your conscience won't allow you to break your engagement. So let's say you're engaged, and you're hearing Paul teaching on the goodness of singleness and how you can serve the Lord and that, and you're wrestling with that, but your conscience won't allow you to break your engagement. Maybe you've had just too many conversations with your fiancé. You're just too deep into the whole thing, and you feel it would be sinful to walk away from your word at this point. Paul says, look, then don't. Don't break off your engagement. If you feel that you would not be behaving properly toward your betrothed, get married. That's not sinful.

23:29So that's reason one. Reason two is right after it. He says, if his passions are strong. So second, you should get married if your passions are strong. And this goes back to what Paul talks about in verses 17 through 24. It goes back to what he talked about at the very beginning of this chapter. You remember that Jesus very clearly taught that very few people are called to a lifetime of singleness. Most people will be called to a single single single To marry. If you are called to a lifetime of singleness, God will give you that gift. He will enable you to do that. But one of the key indicators that you're not called to a lifetime of singleness is that you burn with passion to marry. That's not to say that all single people who are called to a lifetime of singleness don't feel any desire to marry. It's just to say that they're not overcome by that. And Paul is saying, look, if your passions are strong, if you're overcome by that, then you need to get married.

24:30And then Paul gives a third reason that people should get married. Look at this verse one more time. If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, that sounds like something I would say. What does that mean? It has to be? It's just like, you know, people come to me sometimes and they ask my advice. I'm like, well, Pastor Alan, what do you think? And I'm like, well, I don't know. I think reasons.

25:06And that is all I have to say about that. And that seems what Paul is saying here. He's like, look, if you think you'd be violating your conscience, if your passions are strong and if there are reasons, then you should get married. It's amazing how much freedom of conscience Paul allows the believer, isn't it? That there is not a binding here of, you know, if you meet these criteria, he's like, look, this is between you and the Lord. Lord, largely, and if there are reasons that you believe that you need to marry, that's fine. Get married. You can honor the Lord in that way.

25:40And then he gives two reasons that you should remain single. This starts in verse 37. He says, But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. So that phrase really breaks down into two things. He says, Look, you should remain single if you're able to do so. And if you're able to do so, he says, being under no necessity, your passions aren't so strong that you must get married. You've got your desire under control.

26:18Then you should remain single. Remain single if you're able to do so. But then, second, he says, you should remain single if you're called to singleness. And that's where I essentially take from this phrase, determined this in his heart. In other words, this engaged person is settled in his or her heart that they are called to a lifetime of singleness. It's been settled. They wrestled with this and they've decided this is what God is calling me to. That's fine. Then you would do well not to marry. But Paul wraps up this whole passage in 39 and 40, and he's like, look, remember, if you do marry, you are bound to your spouse as long as they live. Marriage is a lifetime connection. Covenant. It's not a contract. It's not a temporary agreement. It is a lifetime covenant that is only broken by death. And so Paul wraps up this whole teaching. Look at verse 40.

27:14Yet, in my judgment, she is happier if she remains as she is, and I think that I too have the Spirit of God. So, from beginning to end, what Paul is trying to tell us is that every decision that we could make in this area of singleness and engagement and marriage, it all has to be viewed and filtered through the lens of our devotion to the Lord. And Paul's apostolic counsel is: you will be able to serve in a more undivided way if you are single, unless you are called to marry, in which case you should get married and honor the Lord in your marriage.

27:57Friends, these words were written 2,000 years ago. These believers were living in the last days, in the time between Jesus' resurrection and ascension and his second coming. And today, nearly 2,000 years later, we are still living in the last days. Jesus is coming back. And his return is now nearer. It is more, is coming sooner than it was when Paul wrote these words. We are closer. To that reality. And so, what that means is that the person of Jesus, His glorious gospel, His great commission-those are the things that are worth our undivided attention and our undivided devotion because we're living in the last days. He is coming again soon.

28:52But I think that a lot of us have to admit that we are not giving the Lord our undivided devotion. I think for many of us, we would say that Jesus just has part of us, He doesn't have all of us, He has part of us. And I want to direct your attention to Mark 8. And calling the crowd to him with His disciples, He said to them, If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up His cross and follow me. For whoever would save His life will lose it, but whoever loses His life for my sake and the gospels will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in return for his soul? For whoever is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his father with the holy angels Jesus isn't asking would you please invite me to be a part of your life Jesus is saying you must come and die You must come and die to sin and self. You must take up your cross. You must follow me. It does not matter if you gain everything this world has to offer if you forfeit your soul in the end.

30:45You see, friends, through his sinless life and death and resurrection from the dead, Jesus has proven that he is Lord of all. And because he is Lord of all, he will not accept being a part of anyone's life. Death is all or nothing. And that is what Jesus is calling us to. He's calling us to come and die that we may have life, real, true, abundant, lasting life, and have it to the full. I don't want you to be ashamed when Jesus comes in his... Glory with all of the holy angels. I don't want you to be ashamed. I want you to be able to stand before Jesus as your Lord. I want you to be able to stand before him with a clear conscience because you did. You came and you died. You picked up your cross and you followed him. You did what he commanded. You did not invite him to be a part of your life. You gave him everything because that is what he is worthy of. And so I urge you today to turn from your sin, to receive Jesus as Lord and Savior, not just as Savior, but as Lord, as master of your life, knowing and understanding that there is no other way for you to be saved except through Jesus and his life and death and resurrection on your behalf.

32:22And I think for all of us in the room today, even if you don't find yourself in the place where you need to receive Christ for the first time as Lord and Savior, every one of us has to admit that Jesus is not getting our undivided devotion. He's just not. And as I went through this passage this week, I labored over this sermon this week because in part I was so convicted by the fact that my own life, as someone who's been following Jesus for the better part of two decades, as someone who is a leader in the church, my own life isn't marked by undivided devotion to the Lord.

33:02Almost all of us start out giving the Lord our undivided devotion. But over time, relationships start to take some of that away, and kids start to take some of that away, and jobs, and careers, and school, and hobbies, and interests, and everything else. And before long, we are no longer giving Jesus our undivided devotion. And part of the reason that is so critical that we gather together on Sunday mornings every week is because I need you to remind me, and you need me to remind you that Jesus is better.

33:42Jesus is better. He is better than the fleeting pleasures of sin. He is better than the good gifts that God gives to us in abundance. He is better than us achieving everything in life that we hoped to achieve in our relationships, in our careers, in our families. He is better. Friends, Jesus is coming back. And because He is coming back, the world in its present form is passing away. And because the world in its present form is passing away, we must give God our undivided devotion.

34:25Let's pray. Of every thought. You are worthy of every day, every moment, every intention. You are worthy of undivided loyalty and focus and worship. But God, we must admit that we are not offering that to you. And I'm sure that there are so many in the room right now who are thinking of specific examples of ways that they haven't given you their undivided devotion. Because that's where my heart is. That's where my mind is. It is saying that I am not worthy of the kind of love that you have poured out on me through your Son.

35:34And that's exactly right. God, I pray that as we think about who you are and what you have done for us, that we would be overwhelmed with gratitude that you would bestow such grace and mercy upon us as to receive us as your sons and daughters through faith in Christ. That you would receive us into your life. Your holy presence, and that you would allow us to worship you with our lives, giving you offerings that are not perfect.

36:09But nevertheless, coming from a position of gratitude, heartfelt thanks toward you. And so, God, we pray even now as we take the Lord's Supper together that you would strengthen and encourage our hearts because we have a great Savior who has saved and is sanctifying us. People who have not given you the undivided devotion that you deserve. Thank you, God, for your abundant grace. In Christ's name we pray. Amen. Thank you for listening to the sermon audio from New Life Baptist Church in College Station, Texas.

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