Judges 10:6-12:15 "Set Free from Transactional Relationships"

1:02But what if all of your relationships were like that? What if all of your relationships with your spouse, your children, your friends, your parents, your siblings, your fellow church members, even your relationship with God? What if all of your relationships were transactional in nature? That would be a very Sad way to live. Unfortunately, I think plenty of people would say that a lot of their relationships are transactional in nature, even their relationship with God. Now, before you're too quick to say, that's not me, that's not my issue, let me ask you a few questions.

1:49Have you ever promised to do something for God if He will do something for you? Have you ever promised to stop doing something or to start doing something in exchange for a blessing of some kind? Have you ever maintained a relationship with someone, not because you genuinely cared about them, but because you needed something from them? These are examples of relating to God and others in a transactional way. But as we're going to see this morning in Judges 10 through 12, God does not relate to us that way. So we should not relate to Him or to anyone else that way either.

2:40So what we're going to learn from the text this morning is that the grace of God sets us free from transactional relationships. The grace of God sets us free from transactional relationships. So let's look at this section that Tara just Read a moment ago, where we're going to see that we collectively have been set free from a transactional relationship with God. In chapter 10, verses 6 through 16, we saw that the people again did what was evil in the sight of the Lord.

3:14They forsook the Lord, they did not serve him, instead, they served the false gods of the nations around them. And in response, God sold them into the hands of their enemies, and Israel was oppressed for 18 years. Verse 9 notes that they were severely distressed. So finally, the people cry out to God to save them in verse 10, saying that they've sinned against him with their idolatry. And God responds that he has saved them many times before. In fact, every time the people have cried out, God has saved them. But he says, no more. No more. I'm not going to save you again. Look at verse 14. He says, go and cry out to the gods whom you have chosen. Let them save you in the time of your distress.

4:05But the people double down. They confess their sins again, stating that God can do whatever seems good to him as long as he rescues them. So look at this first part of verse 16. So they put away the foreign gods from among them and served the Lord. Now, let me ask you this. Do you think that that was true repentance? Repentance. I mean, they did the right thing. They put away the foreign gods from among them. That's a good thing.

4:40But understand, God is not just concerned with our behavior, he's concerned with our hearts, our attitudes, our motivations, the reasons behind our behavior. If God was only concerned with our behavior, he would have told the Pharisees what a great job they were doing. But he didn't do that. Instead, he reserved his harshest rebukes for the Pharisees. He called them whitewashed tombs because they looked great on the outside, but on the inside, they were dead. They kept God's law with their hands, and they broke it with their hearts.

5:27I don't believe the Israelites were truly repentant in this moment. I think they were experiencing the consequences of their sins. They were severely distressed, and they would say or do anything to make it all stop. They weren't sad because they sinned against God, just about the consequences. Have you been there before? Have you been in a place where you aren't really sad that you've sinned against God, just sad about the consequences that you're facing? I have many times.

6:05That was the story of my life until God saved me in college. I loved sinning. I just didn't love the consequences that came with sin. So when I sinned and I faced the consequences, I prayed to a God that I didn't believe in and said, I've sinned. Do whatever seems good. Only please deliver me. And I believe that's exactly what is going on here, which is why verse 16 ends like it does. Take a look at verse 16 again.

6:40So they put away the foreign gods from among them and served the Lord, and he became impatient over the misery of Israel. What a phrase. He became impatient over the misery of Israel. That is not the word that we would expect to find there, impatient. Now, listen, God is committed to his people. He loves his people. He has rescued his people many times. He's going to rescue his people many more times. But, friends, in context, God is angry with his people. He has just said, I'm not going to save you anymore. Go and cry out to the gods that you've chosen. Let them rescue you. God isn't impatient because Israel is suffering.

7:30God is impatient at the cause of their suffering, their continual rebellion and sin against him. Look what commentator Michael Wilcock had to say. God is not sorry for them so much as sorry about them. And God is sorry about them because the people are relating to him in a transactional way. They're making deals with God, essentially saying, God, we've put away our idols, now you come and relieve our suffering. That is a transactional relationship, and that is the default mode of every human being.

8:20Our assumption is that a relationship with God must be transactional. We do things for him, he does things for us. That's why every false religion that people have ever invented is based on a transactional relationship. Think about all the false gods that we encounter in the Bible and how that relationship is set up. Are you dealing with a drought? Well, if you make sacrifices to Baal, if you cut yourself and throw yourself down at his altar, he will send the rain.

9:01Are you dealing with infertility? Well, make a sacrifice to Asherah. Unite with the temple prostitutes, and you'll have a baby. Transactional. Are you at war with your enemies? Sacrifice your children to Molech, and you'll win the battle. Transactional. Friends, every religion today is exactly the same. They are all, every single one of them, transactional in nature. You do things for this God or that God, and he will do things or she will do things for you. If you want something good, you better pay up.

9:48Thankfully, that is not how the God of the Bible deals with us. God revealed himself to Abraham. He promised to bless him. He promised to make a great nation out of him that would bless all the nations of the earth. And in return, Abraham had to do what? Nothing. Just believe. Look at Genesis 15, 6. Abraham believed the Lord, and he counted it to him as righteousness. God sent Jesus to live a perfect life, to die. On a cross, in our place, and for our sin, and rise again for you and me to save us.

10:39And in return, we have to do what? Nothing. Just believe. Look what Jesus said in John 3:16, the most famous verse of all time. For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life. You see, friends, we don't do things for God so that he will save us. God saves us by his grace alone, and in response to his grace, we live to worship and serve and please him.

11:21The grace of God sets us free from a transactional relationship with him. And the grace of God sets us free from transactional relationships with others as well. Let's look at the text now, chapter 10, verse 17. Then the Ammonites were called to arms, and they encamped in Gilead. And the people of Israel came together and they encamped at Mizpah. And the people, the leaders of Gilead, said to one another, Who is the man who will begin to fight against the Ammonites? He shall be head. Over all the inhabitants of Gilead. Now, Jephthah the Gileadite was a mighty warrior, but he was the son of a prostitute. Gilead was the father of Jephthah. And Gilead's wife also bore him sons. And when his wife's sons grew up, they drove Jephthah out and said to him, You shall not have an inheritance in our father's house, for you are the son of another woman. Then Jephthah fled from his brothers and lived in the land of Tob, and worthless fellows collected around Jephthah and went out with him. After a time the Ammonites made war against Israel. And when the Ammonites made war against Israel, the elders of Gilead went to bring Jephthah from the land of Tob. And they said to Jephthah, Come and be our leader that we may fight against the Ammonites. But Jephthah said to the leaders of Gilead, Did you not hate me and drive me out of my father's house? Why have you come to me now when you are in distress? And the elders of Gilead said to Jephthah, This is why we have turned to you now, that you may go with us and fight against the Ammonites and be our head over all the inhabitants of Gilead. Jephthah said to the elders of Gilead, If you bring me home again to fight against the Ammonites, and the Lord gives them over to me, I will be your head. And the elders of Gilead said to Jephthah, The Lord will be witness between us if we do not do as you say. So Jephthah went with the elders of Gilead, and the people made him head and leader over them. And Jephthah spoke all his words before the Lord at Nispah.

13:30Isn't this a sad story on so many levels? Gilead is married, but he has a child out of wedlock with a prostitute. He names this son Jephthah. And after Jephthah's half-brothers grow up, they kick him out because they don't want to share the inheritance with him. So Jephthah runs away and he becomes the leader of a gang of outlaws. After some time, the Ammonites are fighting against Israel and they realize they can't defeat Ammon on their own. So they're like, remember our half-brother? That dude could fight. Let's bring him back, make him our leader. It's a transactional relationship. We wanted nothing to do with you, but now we need something from you. So come back and be our leader. And Jephthah's like, Did you forget that you kicked me out over money?

14:26You said our relationship meant nothing to you. But now that you're in trouble, you want to bring me back. No thanks. So the elders sweeten the deal. They say, if you come back and fight for us, you can be head over all of Gilead. Both sides give, and both sides get. The relationship is transactional from start to finish. And friends, this is our natural tendency when it comes to human relationships, to make them transactional. In all kinds of relationships, we say to people, even people we love, if you do this for me, I will do this for you. We are willing to give only if we can get something in return. So consider a few examples.

15:18In marriage, husbands and wives are tempted to use each other to get what they want, dealing with each other in a transactional way. One spouse might deprive the other of physical affection or emotional connection, communicating in word or deed, you're not getting that until I get this. But God commands husbands to love their wives, to live with them in an understanding way. God commands wives to submit to and respect their husbands. And both of these spouses are to live out and obey these commands no matter how the other spouse responds. We don't use these things in marriage as bargaining chips to get what we want.

16:10Think about in parenting. Children and parents can act in the same way towards each other. A parent may withdraw affection, communicating to a child that your performance in school or your performance on the athletic field. Determines how much love and affection I'm going to show you. Children can do the same thing with parents. They can communicate, I'm not going to obey you until I get that snack, that toy, that phone, that car, that privilege. I'm going to make your life miserable until I get what I want. Look on the screen at Colossians chapter 3.

17:00Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. God calls parents and children into a relationship based on love, not transactions. Think about in the church. Many professing Christians even relate to the body of Christ in a transactional way. If you come to a local church based on what you can get, based on what you can receive, then you are going to leave that church as soon as another church in town says that you can get more and give less.

17:50Church involvement is reduced to a cost-benefit analysis. But look what 1 John 3:16 says. By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. See, Christians are not called to deal with each other in a transactional way, asking, What can I get from other believers? We seek to serve even when it's costly, even when it costs us everything, even when we don't necessarily benefit from it.

18:28How are we able to do these things? By the grace of God alone. The grace of God sets us free from transactional relationships with others. Look at what Jesus said in Mark chapter 10. And Jesus called the disciples to him and said to them, You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

19:16You see, friends, we are able to lay down our lives, our preferences, our desires, our wants for other people because Jesus laid down his life for us. For us, He sets us a perfect example of a sacrificial service. But more than a perfect example, Jesus empowers us to actually lay down our lives through His life and death and resurrection. When we believe in Jesus, we are filled with the Holy Spirit and we are empowered to do things that we could never do before, including serving others when we will not get anything out of it or when we get very little out of it. The grace of God sets us free from transactional relationships with other people.

20:11And now, in this final section that we're going to cover today, we're going to get even more personal. We've seen that the grace of God sets us free collectively from a transactional relationship with God. We've seen that the grace of God sets us free from transactional relationships with others. But now we're going to see that you and I individually are set free from a transactional relationship with God by his grace. So, for the sake of time, let me summarize chapter 11, verses 11 through 28. So, Jeff has been brought back, as we saw, to lead the people of Gilead against Ammon, and he wisely pursues a course of diplomacy first. He may be a mighty warrior, but he's not a war monger.

21:00So he sends messengers to the king of Ammon to ask why the Ammonites are fighting against the people of Gilead. And the king of Ammon sends messengers back, and he says, Israel took away our land, so we're fighting to get it back. And Jephthah's response is a master class in argument. He refutes the king's claims using his knowledge of history, theology, and precedent. First, he argues from history. He tells the king, this was never your land to begin with. It belonged to the Amorites, and the only reason we took it from them is because they refused to let our ancestors pass through the land peaceably when they were on the way to the promised land. The Amorites attacked us, we defeated them, and the land became ours. So it was theirs, it is ours, it never belonged to you.

21:55He argues from theology. He tells the king, listen, you believe that gods give people the land in which they dwell. Okay, great. Our God gave us this land, your God gave you that land, so we'll stay over here, you stay over there, okay? And then last, he argues from precedent. He tells the king, look, bro, we've been here for 300 years. No king until you has ever raised a stink about this. So why are you doing this now?

22:29He deserves it. Debate team trophy. But the king of Ammon does not listen, so let's pick up in verse 29 of chapter 11. I have to warn you, this is one of the saddest, darkest things that happens in the entire book. Chapter 11, verse 29. Then the Spirit of the Lord was upon Jephthah, and he passed through Gilead and Manasseh and passed on to Mizpah of Gilead. And from Mizpah of Gilead, he passed on to the Ammonites. And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord and said, If you will give the Ammonites into my hand, then whatever comes out from the doors of my house to meet me when I return in peace from the Ammonites shall be the Lord's, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering.

23:22So Jephthah rallies the troops and he makes this vow to God. If God will give him victory, he will offer whatever. In the Hebrew, neither species nor gender is specified. He will offer whatever comes out of the doors of his house first as a burnt offering to God. Now, why in the world would an Israelite make that kind of a vow? Unless he's Ace Ventura and he's got a zoo living in his house, it is very likely that the first thing out of his doors is going to be a person.

24:01And in Leviticus 20, God is very clear that human sacrifice is absolutely unacceptable. God says if you do that, the people have to stone you to death with stones. No human sacrifice ever for any reason. People are made in God's image. To sacrifice a human is murder. But here's the sad reality: neither the people nor the leaders know God's word or God's character. That's how the book began. Joshua dies, and another generation is raised up, and the comment that is made is: they do not know the Lord or the work he had done for Israel. They do not know the Lord or the work that he had done for Israel. So, if you are ignorant about God, you don't know his word, you don't know his character, how do you relate to him?

24:58In a transactional way. That is our default setting. We assume that that's how it works. We do things for God so that he will do things for us. That's the prosperity gospel in a nutshell, isn't it? If we do enough for God, if we have enough faith, if we give enough money to this preacher or to this ministry, God will bless us with health and wealth. The more I do for God, the more he will do. For me, it's transactional, and it's heresy.

25:36That's exactly what Jephthah assumes here. I need a big favor from God. So I've got to do something big in return. What could I possibly do that would be big enough to warrant, to earn, to deserve this kind of favor from God? Okay, I'll offer whatever comes out of the doors of my house. Look at verse 32. So Jephthah crossed over to the Ammonites to fight against them, and the Lord gave them into his hand. And he struck them from Auror to the neighborhood of Minneth, twenty cities, as far as Abel-Caramim, with a great blow. So the Ammonites were subdued before the people of Israel. Then Jephthah came to his home at Mizpah, and behold, his daughter came out to meet him with tambourines and with dances. She was his only child. Besides her, he had neither son nor daughter. And as soon as he saw her, he tore his clothes and said, Alas, my daughter, you have brought me very low, and you have become the cause of great trouble to me, for I have opened my mouth to the Lord, and I cannot take back my vow. And she said to him, My father, you have opened your mouth to the Lord. Do to me according to what has gone out of your mouth, now that the Lord has avenged you on your enemies. On the Ammonites. So she said to her father, Let this thing be done for me. Leave me alone two months, that I may go up and down on the mountains and weep for my virginity, I and my companions. So he said, Go. Then he sent her away for two months, and she departed, she and her companions, and wept for her virginity on the mountains. And at the end of two months, she returned to her father, who did with her according to his vow that he had made. She had never known a man, and it became custom in Israel that the daughters of Israel went year by year to lament the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite four days in the year.

27:46It's almost impossible to believe that Jephthah made this vow in the first place. What's even crazier is that he kept it. Some Bible readers try to soften this passage by saying that Jephthah just never married his daughter off and that he kept her in a state of perpetual virginity. But that is not what the text says. Look at verse 39. And at the end of two months, she returned to her father, who did with her according to his vow that he had made.

28:27Everything in the text indicates that he kept. Kept his vow and burned his only child. If Jephthah knew God's word, he would know that in Leviticus 5, it says, if you make a rash vow before the Lord that is going to result in sin, that vow must not be performed. But he doesn't know God's word. None of these people know God's word. What's far worse is that Jephthah does not know God's character. He doesn't know that he is a God who is merciful and gracious, a God who does not delight in the death of any human being made in his image and likeness. Certainly not in the death of a child, because an ignorant father made a stupid vow.

29:32That's the whole problem here. Jephthah does not know God's word, and he does not know God's character. He assumes that the God of Israel must be like all of the false gods of the nations. So he relates to God on a transactional basis. And friends, the sad reality is that many professing Christians, maybe even some of us here today, relate to God. Just like this, we relate to God on a transactional basis. Just like Jephthah, we assume that God has to be bribed into blessing us.

30:13We assume that we've got to earn God's favor through sacrifices of various kinds. The prayers that we have uttered in private reveal what we really believe about God, that we don't know His Word or His character, that we don't believe that God could possibly be that kind and gracious and giving. And so we pray prayers like, God, if you'll help me pass my classes, I promise that I will stop doing this. God, if you will give me a husband, a wife, a child, I promise that I will start doing this.

31:03God, if you'll give me this job, this promotion, this raise, then I will always do this. God, if you will keep me from getting into trouble for what I've done, then I promise that I will never again do this. Before I became a Christian, I was not a good person. Had a lot of practice praying those kinds of prayers. I didn't pray very much, but when I did, I was always making a deal with God. Our natural tendency is to relate to God in a transactional way, believing that if we want anything from Him, we've got to do things or stop doing things in return. Knowing God's character through knowing God's Word corrects this misunderstanding. So, look at how the Apostle Paul preaches to the people of the city of Athens, a city that was filled with idols that required sacrifice in exchange for blessing. Look at this. Paul preaches, the God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything.

32:39Think about what Paul is preaching. Unlike false idols, God does not live in a temple, he doesn't need anything from us because he is the true God of the universe. He created us and he created everything else. He gives freely to us life and breath and everything. God does not deal with us in a transactional way. He didn't have to create us, but he did. He doesn't have to give us life and breath and everything, but he does. And he does it not because we have earned it, but because he is gracious. The grace of God sets us free from a transactional relationship with him.

33:26So maybe you're a believer in Jesus Christ. But in various ways, you have acted as though you have a transactional relationship with God. You have acted as though God does not want to bless you, and he won't bless you, unless you do or stop doing certain things, unless you promise to always do this or never again do that. Well, Christian, I want you to listen to the promises of God and his heart for you. Look on the screen at Ephesians 1.

34:03Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love, he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ. According to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the beloved, in him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace.

34:49Brothers and sisters, before the world was created, before you were born, before you had ever done anything good or bad, God chose you. He chose to bless you. He chose to pour out his grace upon you. His promises are true and certain. He is determined to bless you, whatever you have done and whatever you might do for him. He has decided to bless you. So instead of living as though you need to make deals with God for his love, for his protection, for his provision and blessing, let's believe that we already have all of those things in Christ. Let's believe his promises. Let's believe that we have the favor of God already, so we do not need to do anything and cannot do anything to earn it.

35:52And maybe you're like the people of Israel in the book of Judges. Perhaps there are some here today who don't know God's word, who don't know God's character. Frankly, you don't know God. So you assume that you have to deal with God on a transactional basis. If you want him to forgive you, if you want him to accept you, if you want eternal life, then you've got to earn it. If that's you, listen to God's word through the Apostle Paul in Romans 5.

36:34For while we were still weak, at the right time, Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person, though perhaps for a good person, one would dare even to die. But God shows his love for us in that, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. My friends, God has done everything that needs to be done to secure your salvation. There is nothing left for you to do. It is a free gift, freely offered to you. All you need to do is receive the gift of eternal life. Jesus Christ came and lived the perfect life that he did, not to say to you, you now need to do this too. He did it because you can't do it.

37:30To the cross and he died, not because he deserved to die for sin, he never sinned. He took your place and died in it on the cross. And he rose from the grave on the third day to forever secure your standing with God so that you would know for all time through faith in Jesus and His work, you are accepted, you are received, you are adopted into God's family forever. Your salvation is secure. Not because you are a good Christian, not because you are a good person, not because of anything that you have done or are doing or will do, but because Jesus' work was enough. It was sufficient for you.

38:17And so, this morning, friends, allow the grace of God to set you free from transactional relationships of all kinds, especially a transactional relationship with God. Let's pray, Father, what a heartbreaking. This is today. Heartbreaking because of the sins and the atrocities that we read about in it. But perhaps heartbreaking most of all because we're reading about a generation of people, many generations of people who did not know your word and did not know your character. And so they sinned over and over against you and against other people.

39:38Oh, Father, we pray this morning that you would help us to know your word and through knowing your word to know your character, that we might relate to you not on the basis of transactions, of deals that we make with you, but on the basis of your grace that you have poured out upon us through the person and work of Jesus Christ. Oh God, would you speak to children this morning who are convinced that they have to do good enough, that they have to be good enough to receive your love and your forgiveness?

40:17Would you help them to see today that the grace of Christ is sufficient for them? God, would you speak to the man or the woman today? Who is living a life of striving and guilt and shame because they're convinced that there's never going to be enough that they can do. And yet they stay on that treadmill, trying and working and doing, seeking the favor that they can't earn and has been promised to them through faith in Jesus Christ. Would you set them free this morning?

40:58God, if there are people that we are dealing with in a transactional way, maybe it's our husband, maybe it's our wife, our kids, our parents, extended family, friends, coworkers, classmates, professors, God, would you bring those people to mind this morning that we might repent before you and that we might change our ways before them and love them and serve them, not to get something from them, but because you call us to lay down our lives. We don't need anything from other people, Lord. You give us life and breath and everything.

41:39So set us free to serve instead of seeking to be served. Thank you, God, for your word. We pray that it would bear fruit in our lives. In Christ's name we pray. Amen. Thank you for listening to the sermon audio from New Life. Baptist Church in College Station, Texas. For more information or to support our ministry, visit us online at newlifecs.net.